The Last Night

Was it the last night???Yeah it was the last night when all this happened.It had never happened to me before-never ever in ma life.My head was numb-the best word that can describe my state...or is it that i was numb- i really don't know.I really felt like crying-lonely sitting in the room as if for ages in shackles.When was I going to be free like others???when??
All above that an idiot whom i would ....i don't know what i would do to him... plays with me...playing since when...i don't know...r u a HULK???no man u r a dodo challenging me!!!ahh!!! come on...
that would be a different story though...so let me return to ma state of mind...
all negative thoughts haunted me...continued to do so in ma dreams....still perpetually lingering around...well well I have kicked it out;let it roam hither n tither....for Heaven's sake leave me alone...anyways u r not goinna get a chance again...now its a rare case when I lose my temper...however for some reason or the other....others r still inside me.... pains when i have to struggle to stop my tears... they r precious for some n useless for others!!!
need someone....really...i keep on speculating something;wait for someone n finally what am I handed each day... a sigh of relief that someone was there with me.
Thinking about the mid-sem retest mad me more mad.All I could imagine was a weak heart standing in the drawing room of MB;me watching others watching me-I would grin.
But I wanted to imagine something else-what I still don't know.I have accepted it...that I can't put my mind to its best...that's mental retardation which may help me make it to the next level.I had always imagined some next level waiting for me.Alas! I have never reached there.
I was caught in a whirlpool in the cavern of my imagination and I finally i had to give in.Tears started rolling down and so I finally I slept forgetting the retest I had today.I left all to God!!!P.S. just a crap to start with...P.P.S. (April 2,2010)